What attracts one person to another? According to what I see in American media, the following is what I have gathered: if you're a man, you're automatically attracted to women. These women are white, at least 5'6", tiny waists, sweet personalities, ample chests (or enough to push up in a wonder bra), and major points if she's blonde. She may also be extremely unattractive to you at first, but by the actual start of your relationship, she'll fit the above standards.
If you're a woman, you're obviously attracted to men. It usually doesn't matter what this man looks like, but you have the option of falling in love with a guy that you don't find physically attractive (but he makes up for everything with wit), a ruggedly handsome man that either belittles you or is perfect in every way, or an older man who will help you figure out all of your apparent daddy issues. His weight, height, and other physical aspects play no real role in your attraction. Oh! All of these options are white also...unless you get Morgan Freeman or Denzel Washington. Kind of lacking a bit of diversity, ain't it?
Body types, intellect, race, gender, sexual preference, etc., all of these play a serious part in the level of attraction one person feels for another. Many of us don't see it that way. We expect couples to either fall into the formulaic relationships we see on television or be perfectly matched, but people in relationships that don't fit these standards understand that the differences make things a little bit more interesting.
For instance, my sigoth and I have quite large differences in height and weight (with all values higher on my end). He's also Asian and I'm pretty sure I'm Black *checks mirror*. Yep! I am, contrary to that lady that asked me if I was white on the phone. He's really smart, and I'm just average. He's not my usual type and I'm pretty sure I'm not his either. Yet, something pulled us towards each other. We get some interesting looks, but, quite honestly, it just makes me like him even more. The fact that both of us can enjoy each other's company and not let the stares and opinions of others affect us shows that it's a pretty strong attraction.
What was this attraction? For me, it was his personality straight off...plus he's really fucking cute. For him, he said it was my height, though I think my boobs are what's keeping him here. Plus, I'm so adorable, I should have plushies made in my likeness! (You can laugh. It's a couple of really bad jokes.) Ultimately, I can't speak for him, but I know for me my attraction lies in our ability to share a laugh and just enjoy being around each other and in his genuine kindness. It's difficult to find that sometimes.
(But, Yvonne, what about other people's attractions?)
Well, I can't speak for them either. However, I do know that everybody is attracted to something different in every person. Where someone might find another innate active for physical reasons, someone else might think that that person's mole near their lip is the most beautiful blemish they have ever laid eyes upon. It just depends on each person and their personal preferences. Attraction is different for every human being.
What I'm really wanting to get at is that everyone finds something attractive in another person. You can't force attraction, so don't try to change who you are so that others will desire you more. When the right person comes along, and trust me, they will, you'll feel it, they'll feel it, and you'll both be happy despite what everyone else says. And remember, just because someone desires you, does not mean they are entitled to you. Take your time in figuring out what you want. Don't just keep the first fish to flop around in your net of sexiness.
