To begin, I'm going through some mental/emotional problems right now. I think it stems from my brother leaving for boot camp. I can't really be sure, but I haven't felt any mental distress until this moment. I've told myself over and over again that there's no need to be sad about him leaving. It's just training camp and he'll still be in the U.S. for the time-being. I'm sure it's only a spot of loneliness, but I still can't shake it. It's probably just the realisation that after he and the little one (Pauline) leave, I'll be completely alone here. I'm glad that I at least have some of my friends from school and my internet friends. I know without them, I would most likely end up on a higher dosage of my medications.
I've also been constantly applying for jobs. The rejection is killing me. I know that the economy is in a bad way, but I need money and I need to not be living at home without a job. Believe me, if I had a job, I would have absolutely no problem with living at home. I just want to be out working, finding love, living life in general. Here, I'm completely stagnant.
I'll write more later, but for now, I must try to go to sleep. I've taken so much pain medicine to end these cramps, but nothing has helped, and sleep keeps eluding me. I'll try once again. It's 60:10, Wednesday 19 June 2013. I'm 23.79 years old, lonely, slightly depressed, in pain...but I'm alive, my family loves me, I have friends that care about me as much as I do them, my brother is about to start his adult life, and I'm making meatloaf and roasted potatoes and corn for dinner. Lol! Life can always be better, but right now, I think I'm fairly content.
Peace, Love, and 4 Part Harmony!
Yvonne
