11 December 2013

Random thoughts for the night: Attraction?

What attracts one person to another? According to what I see in American media, the following is what I have gathered: if you're a man, you're automatically attracted to women. These women are white, at least 5'6", tiny waists, sweet personalities, ample chests (or enough to push up in a wonder bra), and major points if she's blonde. She may also be extremely unattractive to you at first, but by the actual start of your relationship, she'll fit the above standards.

If you're a woman, you're obviously attracted to men. It usually doesn't matter what this man looks like, but you have the option of falling in love with a guy that you don't find physically attractive (but he makes up for everything with wit), a ruggedly handsome man that either belittles you or is perfect in every way, or an older man who will help you figure out all of your apparent daddy issues. His weight, height, and other physical aspects play no real role in your attraction. Oh! All of these options are white also...unless you get Morgan Freeman or Denzel Washington. Kind of lacking a bit of diversity, ain't it?

Body types, intellect, race, gender, sexual preference, etc., all of these play a serious part in the level of attraction one person feels for another. Many of us don't see it that way. We expect couples to either fall into the formulaic relationships we see on television or be perfectly matched, but people in relationships that don't fit these standards understand that the differences make things a little bit more interesting.

For instance, my sigoth and I have quite large differences in height and weight (with all values higher on my end). He's also Asian and I'm pretty sure I'm Black *checks mirror*. Yep! I am, contrary to that lady that asked me if I was white on the phone. He's really smart, and I'm just average. He's not my usual type and I'm pretty sure I'm not his either. Yet, something pulled us towards each other. We get some interesting looks, but, quite honestly, it just makes me like him even more. The fact that both of us can enjoy each other's company and not let the stares and opinions of others affect us shows that it's a pretty strong attraction.

What was this attraction? For me, it was his personality straight off...plus he's really fucking cute. For him, he said it was my height, though I think my boobs are what's keeping him here. Plus, I'm so adorable, I should have plushies made in my likeness! (You can laugh. It's a couple of really bad jokes.) Ultimately, I can't speak for him, but I know for me my attraction lies in our ability to share a laugh and just enjoy being around each other and in his genuine kindness. It's difficult to find that sometimes. 

(But, Yvonne, what about other people's attractions?)

Well, I can't speak for them either. However, I do know that everybody is attracted to something different in every person. Where someone might find another innate active for physical reasons, someone else might think that that person's mole near their lip is the most beautiful blemish they have ever laid eyes upon. It just depends on each person and their personal preferences. Attraction is different for every human being.

What I'm really wanting to get at is that everyone finds something attractive in another person. You can't force attraction, so don't try to change who you are so that others will desire you more. When the right person comes along, and trust me, they will, you'll feel it, they'll feel it, and you'll both be happy despite what everyone else says. And remember, just because someone desires you, does not mean they are entitled to you. Take your time in figuring out what you want. Don't just keep the first fish to flop around in your net of sexiness.










09 December 2013

Why my life has moved so slowly up until now: A short explanation

I've been thinking about my life since graduation in May 2012. I was supposed to go to South Korea in March 2013 to teach English, but I kept stalling. I was supposed to find a job that would tide me over until I left, but I never found any type of employment. I look at all of my class mates, so confident and living lives filled with new friends and in new cities. Why am I so far behind everyone?

My parents look at me and say I'm obviously just lazy. That's not the case. I applied to so many jobs, domestically, and was rejected each time. That amount of rejection weighs on a person, and they feel as if they just want to give up. My grandmother sees how much it hurts me. She just wishes I would get my life together. Well so do I, nana, but honestly...I'm scared.

I'm absolutely terrified of adulthood, even though I claim I want to be treated as if I've already reached it. It's a scary process trying to find employment when you're not even sure you're qualified to do anything other than research (and I'm not even that great at that). However, I'm taking a step towards getting my life together and making sure that people treat me like I'm a functioning 24 year-old. 

This Christmas, I'm heading back to Georgia for a month and a half. I am going to get all of my travel docs and job applications done. My dad has even offered to pay for everything. That's such a blessing I don't even think I'm worthy of. I will then pray, cross fingers, and light candles that someone hires me and sees the potential and passion I have for teaching children. 

Trust, I'm still absolutely terrified that everyone will reject me, but I can't let fear hold me back anymore. I have to stop lying to myself and hoping that the good things in my life will just continue to fall in my lap. Now is my time to act the responsible adult I want to be! 

Wish me luck, loves!
Yvonne