Why my life has moved so slowly up until now: A short explanation

I've been thinking about my life since graduation in May 2012. I was supposed to go to South Korea in March 2013 to teach English, but I kept stalling. I was supposed to find a job that would tide me over until I left, but I never found any type of employment. I look at all of my class mates, so confident and living lives filled with new friends and in new cities. Why am I so far behind everyone?

My parents look at me and say I'm obviously just lazy. That's not the case. I applied to so many jobs, domestically, and was rejected each time. That amount of rejection weighs on a person, and they feel as if they just want to give up. My grandmother sees how much it hurts me. She just wishes I would get my life together. Well so do I, nana, but honestly...I'm scared.

I'm absolutely terrified of adulthood, even though I claim I want to be treated as if I've already reached it. It's a scary process trying to find employment when you're not even sure you're qualified to do anything other than research (and I'm not even that great at that). However, I'm taking a step towards getting my life together and making sure that people treat me like I'm a functioning 24 year-old. 

This Christmas, I'm heading back to Georgia for a month and a half. I am going to get all of my travel docs and job applications done. My dad has even offered to pay for everything. That's such a blessing I don't even think I'm worthy of. I will then pray, cross fingers, and light candles that someone hires me and sees the potential and passion I have for teaching children. 

Trust, I'm still absolutely terrified that everyone will reject me, but I can't let fear hold me back anymore. I have to stop lying to myself and hoping that the good things in my life will just continue to fall in my lap. Now is my time to act the responsible adult I want to be! 

Wish me luck, loves!

Yvonne