A moment of self reflection

I still have nightmares that one day, I will wake up and one side of my face will have dropped again. As much as I try not to hold so much value on my outer appearance, my subconscious is still terrified of dealing with everything (the pain, the stares, the stigma) that comes with hemifacial paralysis. I know that other people are suffering from worse, but at this moment, I’m vulnerable and slightly scared that I have become so reliant on my “normal” appearance. This is beyond my weight or my height, of which I try (keyword: TRY) to deal with the grace of someone who just doesn’t give a fuck what society thinks, but still, I’m frightened. I’m scared because I know how much society gleans about a person just from their face, and I know that if it were to happen again, it wouldn’t come with the taunting and mocking that occurred in my childhood…but my irrational fear stems on the hurt that so many caused, though as children, they had no idea of the lasting effects.