Fat women, body positivity, and me.

I got asked by my little (big) cousin why I post so many fat women in my body positive tag on my personal tumblr. What about the skinny and average sized women? Well, that answer is a simple one to give.

I DON’T IDENTIFY WITH SKINNY AND AVERAGE SIZED BODIES. 

All bodies are beautiful. Believe me. Honestly though, it took a while for me to get to that point. Since my preteen years, and probably even before that, I felt that my body wasn’t beautiful and that I would never be worth love when I grew up. Up until about four years ago, I tried to hide myself away in frumpy, baggy clothing so as not to bring attention to my “disgusting” body. No girls or guys ever saw me as attractive, so I didn’t give myself the chance to see my beauty. I just spent time cultivating this kick ass personality, picking over food in public, and trying to get smarticle because that was what was going to set me apart from all the other people. Yeah….
Then 2010 came around, and I chopped all of my hair off. It left me in a vulnerable state, but helped me look at myself grow along with my hair. I started to feel more confident in not only my looks, but in myself as a human being. However, I was still a little iffy about my body weight. Then around the end of 2010, I just said “Fuck it!” I started wearing dresses and more heels and generally feeling like if you don’t like my body, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a good goddamn!”
However, it wasn’t until 2012 that I finally stopped wanting to pressure myself to lose weight completely. That’s when I found tumblr (🙌) and met this community of fat, empowered, gorgeous women who kick ass, don’t give a shit about taking names, and lift each other up on a daily basis. Here was a group that I could physically and emotionally identify with (that had nothing, and sometimes everything, to do with my race). It was the best thing to ever virtually happen to me!
Our body type is not (popularly) shown on television, written about in books, or sung about on the radio in a positive light. We’re generally the butt of the joke and never given the love and respect of skinny/average sized women. It’s not their fault, it’s just what’s in style. Fat women on tumblr gave me the opportunity to view women just like me and know that despite what most of society outwardly thinks, I’m so fucking beautiful and desirous!
You might think finding yourself beautiful is shallow, but consider this. When a person, who has spent their entire life (that may be hyperbole) thinking that they’re unworthy of basic human dignity because people have told them so countless times, finally takes it upon themselves to eschew that notion…is that not revolutionary? Is self love not acceptable when it isn’t practiced by those you find beautiful? When it isn’t for the consumption of the masses?
My body is beautiful. I accept it at any size it is. Your body is beautiful. It protects your wonderful spirit. You should love it, and yourself, unconditionally. Every body is beautiful. Shape, colour, or size, it’s an appetiser for the eyes…or some shit like that.